Grape Expectations - zip me up scotty

Max Crus
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Whistler The Black Piper, GSM, Barossa Valley, South Australia

Whistler The Black Piper, GSM, Barossa Valley, South Australia [©Max Crus]

PHI Lusatia Park Vineyard, Yarra Valley, Victoria
Bay of Fires wines, Tasmania
Kingston Estate wines, South Australia
Oakridge Over the Shoulder, Yarra Valley, Victoria


Thank goodness the swimsuit debacle is over and they will be banned. This is good for many reasons, although the truly fairest outcome would be for everyone to swim nude, notwithstanding this would severely disadvantage the Greeks, being the hirsutest of all sporting nations.

Or would they would trap more air and be considered cheatingly buoyant? Naturally, this is of little consequence given their pool prowess (‘prowless’?).

Anyway, whoever thought swimsuits were fair were clearly deluded. It was obvioulsy a battle of technologies rather than contestants, highlighted no more starkly than the  revelation there was more technology in swimsuits than Apollo 11.

And all this effort and squillions of dollars so swimmers can shave a few microseconds from their PB, when all they really needed to do, as evidenced by the Greek experience was shave a few microns off their pubis. One small step for a man, one giant leap for …Wilkinson Sword.

Moreover, what did swimsuits add to mankind anyway?

Just another statistic for a data-obsessed world‘s most-useless-trivia compendium.
Sadly the demise of the swimsuit also means my quest for gold in London inside the yet to be released suit made from a school of tiny fish, is over.

Amazing isn’t it? We still can’t run the world on solar but dangle the carrot of Olympic glory in front of cashed-up sports corporations and fat blokes are swimming faster than fish within five years.

The wine industry is no better. Dangle the double-headed carrot of investment allowance and the dream of owning a vineyard in front of cashed up investment bankers, doctors and dot-com dudes, and what do you get? A belly full as well as a belly flop, and a glut.

The solution? Drink like fish rather than swim like them, and while both are about as interesting as one another to watch, I know in which I would rather partake.

Half Mile Creek 2008 Semillon Sauvignon Blanc, $9ish. Simple, tart and terribly drinkable, we are blessed. 7.8/10.

Bay of Fires 2008 Riesling, $32. Riesling is making a comeback after a brief period in taste wilderness, and as Bay of Fires is probably right next to a wilderness area, it makes sense it‘s one of the first to re-emerge. 8.8/10.

(Oakridge) Over the Shoulder Yarra Valley Pinot No
ir 2006 (2007 out now), $19. Sounds like a swimming technique so have it with a swim meet, it’ll make it much more interesting.  8.4/10.

Whistler The Black Piper, GSM (Grenache Shiraz Mourvedre) 2008, $25. How much would the number plate GSM be worth and how many people have those initials? It’d make a great gift, wouldn‘t it? 8.7/10.

Kingston Estate 2008 Cabernet Sauvignon (Limestone Coast /Clare Valley), $13. Brought to you by ‘wines punching above their weight’, it was the same price in 1999 but unlike most people I know, is looking a lot better than it did then. 8.3/10.

PHI Lusatia Park Vineyard (Yarra Valley) Sauvignon
, 2007, $39. Until recently, I didn’t understand oak in sav blanc but I do now, or perhaps this is a little more subtle with the oak. Typically, as soon as you get it, it‘s gone. 8.8 /10.




  • Clare Valley (SA)
  • Limestone Coast (SA)
  • Yarra Valley (Wine) (VIC)

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August 05th, 2009
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