A rosé among the scorn

Max Crus
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Early morning in the vineyard, Hunter Valley, NSW

Early morning in the vineyard, Hunter Valley, NSW [©Hunter Valley Wine Country Tourism]

“What’s ‘faux pas’, Max”, Little Ms L. enquired, as a couple of teeny-somethings sauntered by with their pants suspended so low they had to undo their fly to scratch their knees.

“To answer that question might incriminate me”.

How has the wearing of jeans so low that there’s more of your undies showing than concealed, become fashion?

And who gave women the permission to claim the ‘tradey-crack’ as their own, thus depriving the blue collar boys of one of their most enduring, if not endearing, symbols?

Apparently, boys must show as much cartoon theme ‘boxer’ as possible while girls must suggest as strongly as possible that they are wearing nothing underneath, unless there’s a g-string involved whereupon the blokey approach must be adopted.

“Just as well they don’t have a map of Queensland”, Ms L remarked sotto voce.

Equally, given the bad press about obesity, why have ‘muffin-tops’ become so popular in conjunction with the above? Kath and Kim is a spoof isn’t it?

However the pinnacle - or is that pinnacles? - of fashion faux must surely be the wearing a bra as far removed as possible from the style of the over-garment, both in design and colour.

Gawd, next thing you know, rosé will come into fashion in the wine world.

“Struth, is there no hope for mankind?”

Yes, rosés have been riding some sort of wave for about two years, and I can’t work it out. But then really, it’s like voting, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. Just hold the pencil/glass knowingly, then move on.

Oh well, fortifieds, sweet whites and chardonnay had their day, so too merlot until ‘Sideways’, while riesling and pinot seem only to gain favour with winewriters and wankers. Or is that a tautology?

But surely rosé’s time is up.

Scarborough Pinot Noir Rosé 2005, $15. “Great”, remarked Ms L, getting into New Year mode, “florally, almost like it had actual roses in it, and berries. Yeh, sophisticated raspberry cordial”. “Still tastes like raspberry cordial to me”. Ms L, 8.5/10. Max, 6.5/10.

Southern Highlands Winery Altitude 676 Sauvignon Blanc Rosé, $12. What? Rosé from white grapes? Seems they ran it by some old shiraz skins they happened to have handy and voila, perfect party wine if girls are present. Again the girls voted 8/10, Max 7.

Conte Estate Shiraz Grenache Rosé $15. (700 cases) Even its rarity couldn’t sway me. Some said it has a certain je ne sais quoi, but I don’t know. 7/10.

Mistletoe T Rosé 2004, $18. Bruno gave this a score which cannot be repeated in a family publication. Perhaps it’s a food thing. 6.5/10.

Grant Burge Grenache Rosé Barossa 2005, $16. Not even the words Barossa could rescue this from a premature visit to the recycle bin. 6.8/10.

Tallis Dookie Hills Rosé 2005, $17. Real raspberry cordial contender and relegated to the workplace scraps forthwith. 6/10.

Tobacco Road 2004 Rosé, $11. One of the cheapest yet it was a favourite. Always did have cheap tastes. 7.7/10.

McGuigan The Vin Rosé, 2005, $12? These guys aren’t making it any easier to enjoy, it doesn’t even have a screwcap. 6.7/10.

Wines reviewed:
Conte Estate Shiraz Grenache Rosé
Mistletoe T Rosé 2004
McGuigan The Vin Rosé, 2005
Tobacco Road 2004 Rosé
Tallis Dookie Hills Rosé 2005
Grant Burge Grenache Rosé Barossa 2005
Southern Highlands Winery Altitude 676 Sauvignon Blanc Rosé
Scarborough Pinot Noir Rosé 2005

© Max Crus

A column on the rise of Rosé published the week beginning January 22nd 2006.

Published in Cairns Post/Rockhampton Morning Bulletin/Northern Star Lismore)/Daily Examiner (Grafton)/Wagga Daily Advertiser/Geelong Advertiser.

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